It's a New Year and I'm giving up...

...on that which does not serve me.

"You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served."
 -Nina Simone

This quote was on the wall at City O City when I went there last week.  It has been stuck in my head ever since.

I wish I had read this quote decades ago, but sometimes life doesn't present things to us until we are totally ready to receive them.  I am certain I was not ready to really grasp and implement the notion Ms. Simone is teaching here...until now.

I think this is an EXCELLENT lesson for all of us to embrace in the New Year: do not waste your time or energy or any other resources in situations, with ideas or people that do not serve you and your life in a positive, beneficial fashion.

Make no mistake - this does not mean to abandon conversation or communication about hard topics.  That DOES serve a purpose.  What it does mean (to me, at least) is to stop with this "never give up" bullshit that we have been fed our whole lives.  I am officially banishing "never give up" and replacing it with "choose your efforts wisely."  So often, it seems, we spend our time and energy trying and trying and trying when 1) it's futile and 2) it doesn't serve us.  We do it out of guilt.  Or image.  Or because it is what we are told is supposed to be important.

I am calling bullshit.  B-U-L-L SHIT.

Find what and who serves your purpose, feeds your soul and challenges you to grow.  That's it.  That's what we should be chasing.  Happiness comes from within and when we spend all of our time and energy "never giving up" on the wrong things, then we don't have energy for the right things. So, ask yourself WHY.  Be that toddler that has a never-ending supply of "But why?" Keep the fuel behind your fire close at heart and frequently review what matches you are striking to keep it burning.

It's ok to give up.  In fact, it's good for us.  Giving up on something means that you will have energy to "never give up" on something worthwhile.

I can't wait to see what I give up on in 2016.  It's going to be a great year.

Life is Funny. And Colorful.

It's been a while since I have posted. The one time that I did post. Which was just to say that I am going to start posting. Lame.

Lots have happened and, like many things in life, the thoughts in my head come and go, and lately the thoughts that have been coming more and more involved God, faith, spirituality, religion and me. Rather than go into extensive detail, I just wanted to share this observation:

I find it ironic that me - the Queen of Black and White Thinking - has been settling into the Gray Area for years now.

Isn't it interesting that, as a child, there are certain things that are black and white (as far as clarity in understanding):

Don't hit people.
Share your toys.
Say "Please" and "Thank You".


Likewise, as a child there are things that are limitless in colorful opportunity:

I could be an astronaut.
I could fly.
I could sail around the world.

But, I find, as we grow and settle into adulthood, the colorful things become few and far between and the black and white clarity we once lived our childhood by has now settled into a sea of gray.

I was an opinionated, precocious, and outspoken child: Abortion was wrong. I didn't want to marry a hairy man. Girls are smarter than boys.

As I grew up, this black-and-white thinking got me into trouble (as did my outspoken mouth). And some enemies, some strangers, and some friends who cared enough to tell me the truth set me straight, put me in my place and now I find myself in the Land of Gray.

As for God, religion, spirituality, Jesus, humanity and all of that light-hearted stuff...I came to this realization just a few minutes ago:

As much as I want to believe it isn't this way, I can't.

It just can't be as Black and White as so many people believe it is. Just like people come in all sizes, shapes and colors, so must our thinking and way of living.

So, for now, I will accept that my grey matter has my niche in a mindset of gray. And gray doesn't have to be gloomy or depressing. It can just be ambiguous with colorful possibilities in its potential.

I will focus on the things in my adult life that do bring those vibrant colors: my husband, my family, my friends, music, reading, laughter, flowers, babies, animals and learning new things.

My grey matter is telling me that gray is ok for now.

I'm a bigger procrastinator than I thought...

So, apparently, I already joined this Blogger thing back in January of 2010...I had forgotten all about it until now (big surprise) and so I am finally getting around to writing (big surprise) and am already finding the sound of my fingers on the keyboard therapeutic (big surprise).

Originally I think this was supposed to be a portal for me to share my journey through weight loss and transforming my life into the healthy one I've envisioned for so long, however, like anything, there are no guarantees. This could start out as a helpful place full of nutritional info and useful tips and then just turn into a giant mess of ranting, raving and randomness.

Enter at your own risk. I hope you find my words, if nothing else, entertaining.

XO