Life is Funny. And Colorful.

It's been a while since I have posted. The one time that I did post. Which was just to say that I am going to start posting. Lame.

Lots have happened and, like many things in life, the thoughts in my head come and go, and lately the thoughts that have been coming more and more involved God, faith, spirituality, religion and me. Rather than go into extensive detail, I just wanted to share this observation:

I find it ironic that me - the Queen of Black and White Thinking - has been settling into the Gray Area for years now.

Isn't it interesting that, as a child, there are certain things that are black and white (as far as clarity in understanding):

Don't hit people.
Share your toys.
Say "Please" and "Thank You".


Likewise, as a child there are things that are limitless in colorful opportunity:

I could be an astronaut.
I could fly.
I could sail around the world.

But, I find, as we grow and settle into adulthood, the colorful things become few and far between and the black and white clarity we once lived our childhood by has now settled into a sea of gray.

I was an opinionated, precocious, and outspoken child: Abortion was wrong. I didn't want to marry a hairy man. Girls are smarter than boys.

As I grew up, this black-and-white thinking got me into trouble (as did my outspoken mouth). And some enemies, some strangers, and some friends who cared enough to tell me the truth set me straight, put me in my place and now I find myself in the Land of Gray.

As for God, religion, spirituality, Jesus, humanity and all of that light-hearted stuff...I came to this realization just a few minutes ago:

As much as I want to believe it isn't this way, I can't.

It just can't be as Black and White as so many people believe it is. Just like people come in all sizes, shapes and colors, so must our thinking and way of living.

So, for now, I will accept that my grey matter has my niche in a mindset of gray. And gray doesn't have to be gloomy or depressing. It can just be ambiguous with colorful possibilities in its potential.

I will focus on the things in my adult life that do bring those vibrant colors: my husband, my family, my friends, music, reading, laughter, flowers, babies, animals and learning new things.

My grey matter is telling me that gray is ok for now.