Maybe I am not understanding how the word “privilege” is
being used here, or maybe I am just atypical in my experience. But, growing up underweight and tiny, I have
experienced both sides of the size spectrum.
And neither is perfect. Granted,
being thinner seems to have more “perks” or “privileges” than being fat, but
that doesn’t mean both are without positives and negatives.
Out of this list, here are the ones that I have experienced
first-hand:
Finding clothing in my size in any store – most of the time
I front $$$$ ordering stuff online and then pay shipping fees to send back what
doesn’t work.
Flying – thigh and arm spillage on the person next to me, as
well as having to use a seat belt extender.
The seat belt extender doesn’t bother me – but I don’t like encroaching
on others’ space.
Bathroom stalls with my kid – this can be tough to navigate in
non-handicapped stalls.
Booths in restaurants – my boobs almost always spill onto
the table like they are the main course.
It is both awkward for the person sitting across from me, as well as my
food gets all over my shirts.
Steering wheels – this was a big issue, especially when I
was very pregnant. Being plus size and
petite, I need to sit up close to reach the pedals, but I also need space for
the belly and boobs and butt.
Walking in between tables and in movie theaters – this is
always awkward. I always think “What’s
less likely to rub up against someone, my belly or my butt?” It’s always the
belly. The belly, while big at times, is
never as big as the butt. This becomes
an issue when boarding a plane, too.
Rides – My kid loves to go to Lollipop Park – a mini amusement
park for little kids. On some of the
rides, adults “under 150 pounds” can ride with their kid. Every time I climb into the Ferris Wheel with
her I worry that our carriage will fall and shatter to the ground because I am
over 150 pounds. Part of that is my
anxiety talking, but it’s a real fear.
But I still go, because they say it’s ok for me to ride and my kid wants
to go with me.
Boots – This is probably my biggest issue with being
big. I cannot wear even mid-calf boots
because, unless I buy a super wide calf boot and then pay a cobbler to put in
an extension panel, none of them will fit me.
And even then, I can’t tuck my jeans in because my thighs are heavy and
I will look like a Canadian Bounty. Not
sexy.
Motorized carts – When I had my gall bladder out, my
c-section and dislocated my knee, I did use the motorized carts when shopping. And I did get stares. And a couple of times a
kid asked why I was using it, because they could not see any visible issue
(other than my weight).
Student desks – I can’t even with this.
Job interviews – I personally have never not gotten a job
because of my weight, but I DID witness someone else not give someone a job
because they were heavy. Granted, that
person was a total biatch and got what was coming to her. But still – I was SHOCKED when she just
blatantly said that the woman was too fat for the admin position…
Ambulance gurney – When I have been taken by ambulance, I
have apologized to the EMTs for having to lift me. It’s a thankless job and I am heavy. Let’s be honest. Same thing when I was being transferred from
my hospital bed to the OR table for my c-section. I apologized to the doctors and nurses who
had to lift me. Yes it’s part of their
job, but it’s not easy.
Infertility – This one I actually did feel the sting of
repeatedly. And I am so glad I proved
that OB wrong. As well as the one during
labor.
Charge extra for weight – When I buy clothes, sometimes I
have to pay extra because I need a bigger size and that requires more
fabric. It’s just business – more material
= more cost.
Step stool or ladder – I will never forget when I started my
current job. I was the only shorty in an
office of tall people, and I don’t like asking for help. So I asked my leggy work sister wife if we
had a step stool? We didn’t, she
informed me. Then the next day, Staples
delivered me a step stool. It was so
thoughtful and sweet. And it has a 150
pound weight limit. So I still use it,
but I say a little prayer every time, LOL.
_______________________________________________
On the same token, I know thin people who work their little
assess off at being thin or fit or whatever. So these “privileges” are actually things
they have worked hard for. Seems like it’s
deserving, no? While I don’t deserve
society deliberately making my life harder because I am fat, I haven’t put in
the work to not be fat. So that’s my
issue – not anyone else’s. (I know that
there are people who are overweight despite great efforts. But they are the outliers. Most of us who are heavy know why we are
heavy and could change that if we worked at it.
But only if that is something you desire to do. You don’t HAVE to. But if you want to, you likely can.)
Also, there are fat privileges, too. For instance, being fat, I have boobs. And boobs make clothes look nice. When I was thin and didn’t have boobs, all I
wanted was boobs. So is that a “fat
privilege” then since I have bigger boobs? No. It’s just a fact of reality.
Also, I am very nice to snuggle with. I am soft and squishy and that’s wonderful to
cozy up to. Is that a “fat privilege”. No. It
just is what it is.
Someone makes a snarky comment to you because you ordered a
bacon cheeseburger? WTH. Who cares what
they think. You go eat your cheeseburger
with a big smile on your face and go about your day. Their rude ass doesn’t matter one bit.
Do not let weight define who you are, whether big or
small. Don’t think you’re worth less
because you’re big, and don’t think you’re the shit because you’re tiny. Focus more on what matters and will be a
constant over time: your character.
Skinny people get fat and fat people lose weight. So don’t behave in a
way that, should either thing happen to you, you will look like a jerkface.
Just be real, be authentic, and focus on what is good in
your life. I know this is easier said than done for some people who really struggle emotionally about their weight. But let's figure out a way to lift eachother up in our curvy girl awesomeness, focus on living healthy, happy lives just as ourselves. Making a list of things that skinny people don't have to deal with doesn't seem productive to me. But again, I may not be the norm. Give me feedback. Especially my Body Love people. I want to hear what you think.
Though I am still going to mourn not being able to wear cute
boots.
This is, as always, written in your unique voice, and I loved it. I adore your statement about how heavy people can lose weight, and thin people can gain it, so don't be a turd. Thanks for being you!
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